In a relationship, loving each other is obviously important. But there’s another form of love to consider. What about loving other things together? You can share interests, try new adventures, and set couple goals. This enables you to evolve and grow as a team. Never forget that love often endures but compatibility is far more fluid.
Why are goals important?
Life seems to move faster by the day. It’s easy to lose sight of the long term. Yes, living in the moment is a healthy choice. But no, that doesn’t mean we don’t plan for the future. It doesn’t mean we don’t get excited about the future. As a couple, working together towards a goal is one of the most important forms of bonding.
Goals keep you:
- Focused and motivated
- Locked in as a couple
- Aware of your progress
- Striving to be the best versions of you
In the process of achieving a goal, you learn more about yourself as an individual. You also learn more about your relationship. You reach more on a collective mission. At night, you go to bed knowing you did the work…together.
6 Ways You and Your Partner Can Set Reachable Goals Together
1. Take your time in choosing goals
Some wants are fleeting and temporary. Some are more of a desire for one. Choosing a reachable couple goal is not something to be rushed. It’s not that you can’t change or modify goals. But it is important to be on the same page when you start.
2. Don’t be too quick to compromise
One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is compromise. This is a big part of goal-setting. But there are compromises and then there are compromises! Be cautious to not take one for the team if you are changing some of your personal requirements.
3. Write a mission statement
If steps one and two have you stuck, it’s time for a big picture view. Set aside time to work on your relationship mission statement. What brought you together and kept you there? Where are you now and where do you want to be?
4. Get specific
“More money” is not an actual goal. Practice visualizing. Make detailed outlines and lists. Create a sequence of small goals leading to a giant one.
5. Consider both long term and short term goals
Not all goals are created equal — and that’s a good thing. Some goals, in fact, contain more than one time frame. You’re in this for the long term but want to enjoy the present. Let your goals reflect both.
6. Plan your celebrations!
What fun is attaining a couple goal without the celebration? And what’s a celebration without some spice? Getting to your first goal is an excellent excuse for a couples creative date. Create the “carrot” you can work for.
7. “See” things five years from now
Before finalizing your first goal or set of goals, try a couple of exercises. First, imagine you and your partner are writing a couples’ memoir. How would you describe this time period? Are you still living in Oakland? How many chapters would be needed to explain these goals being reached? Another idea: Think of a close mutual friend. Now see yourself running into that friend in five years. Hear the conversation as you catch them up about all your work and progress.
Find your goal-planning place
As everyday life spins each of you into your own individual orbits, you often need something to ground you as a team. Couples counseling can provide a wide range of powerful benefits. You learn about yourselves and each other. In that weekly therapy session, things get real and a deeper connection can be formed. Reachable goals become more organic and natural. Take time to make mutual success part of your relationship.