Healing Happens Therapy

you can heal, we can help.

Relationship & Intimacy Expert, reconnecting couples through counseling so you can rebuild and get on with the best parts of being in a relationship!

Certified Nutritional Advisor and Professional Life Coach, helping motivated people take back their health, reach their goals and integrate a sense of balance in their lives.

6 Ways to Change Everything and Not Wreck Your Relationship

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A big part of coupledom is growing together. This almost always involves trying to make big changes as a team. Sure, things sometimes feel “perfect.” We tell each other: “I wish it could always be like this.” But, in reality, relationships must evolve or else we risk becoming stagnant and discontent.

Change is Permanent
Even those who cling to routine can understand how inevitable change is. The trick, it seems, is learning to embrace it. Roll with it. Use it to your advantage. Disarm that nagging fear that your relationship will be wrecked.

All good things require regular maintenance. Our car gets a tune-up, our phones need updates, and we don’t stop exercising when we like how our body looks and feels. Relationships thrive on change—big and small.

What are Some of the Big Changes?
The possibilities are endless but here are some of the ways couples change everything:

  • Move/Relocate/Renovate
  • Choose new career paths
  • Go into business together
  • Start a family
  • Explore an open relationship
  • Make major changes in your spiritual life
  • Try a dramatically new dietary lifestyle
  • Shift your social circle

6 Ways to Change Everything and Not Wreck Your Relationship

  1. Work on your Communication Skills
    Changes—tiny and immense—are made easier thanks to healthy communication. Make this your permanent top priority. Fine-tuned communication can sometimes be a relationship-saver.
  2. Check Those Power Dynamics
    Whether we want to admit it or not, social dynamics play a role in our life. The dominant culture in which we all live provides unearned privilege to some of us due to race, skin color, sex, class, age, etc. These power dynamics can very much impact the process of making big changes. Keep them in check. Talk about them in your regular relationship check-in meetings (see #5 below).
  3. Learn From Others
    Not everything requires the reinvention of the wheel. Success leaves clues so find yourselves a role model or two and check out the paths they’ve already blazed.
  4. Remember to Take Breaks
    No matter how big the change, we need time to rest, laugh and share intimacy. Get out for a good time and leave your big change alone for a night. A visit to the Oakland Coliseum will give you the chance to scream your lungs out for the A’s!
  5. Have Regular Check-in Meetings
    Success is not an accident. Planning is essential. One practical way to stay on top of rapidly shifting circumstances is to talk about it. Have regular check-in meetings with your partner to assess progress and, if needed, make adjustments.
  6. Remind Yourselves: This Will Also Change
    You may have begun changing everything with a conversation about how inevitable change is. In those times when you feel doubt and fear, tell yourself the same thing. Even the biggest changes will shift, morph, and evolve over time. Do your best, but accept the soothing fact that time will play a role.

In Case of Emergency, Consult a Change Expert
Preparing for a big change is a challenge. Even more daunting might be getting both of you on the same page about the details. Couples counseling is the kind of guidance you need before any further change is attempted.

No matter how structured your plans are, an outside perspective is helpful—especially when it comes from an experienced pro. If there are tough topics you’re avoiding, your regular therapy sessions will make space for them. If the first step of the big change is shaky, you’ll have a safe haven to hash it out. Most of all, you won’t be left without an all-important and honest ally with your best interests as their top priority.

Filed Under: balance, communication, couples, couples counsleing, healthy relationship

Breaking Through Your Best: How to Navigate a New Level of You

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Nothing can be harder than breaking through to become the best version of you. Right?

Well…there is something else to consider when your best graduates to a new level. How do you traverse this new ground? You’ve raised your personal standards and you’ve ascended. But the air is mighty rare up there. Now what?

What Does It Mean To Break Through to Your Best?
The first step is to seriously ask yourself this question. This is intentional, ongoing work. No one hits new levels by accident. So, commitment is crucial.

Beyond that, this does become a very personal quest. Each individual defines “best” in his or her own way. Therefore, while some universal truths can exist, the final judge is you.

And that’s kind of the point.

Part of reaching for our best involves not being trapped by the perceptions or expectations of others. Of course, we can and must learn from those around us. But “your” best is different from “their” best.

In addition, a new level of you is never a final destination. The beauty of the human spirit lies in its potential to keep evolving. Strive hard. Revel in the attaining of your goals. Then get yourself moving to the next level. As you break through to each new level of “best,” do the work to navigate with humility, compassion, and gratitude.

How to Navigate a New Level of You: Ask Yourself These 6 Questions

1. How Do You Care For Yourself?
Being the best version of you means your mental and physical health, too. When world-class athletes ascend to the top of their games, they don’t rest on their laurels—unless they want to be surpassed. The new level of you deserves the same diligence and that starts with a daily program of self-care.

2. Who Do You Hang Out With?
Friends, family, and colleagues can help bring out the best in us. We need a support team, of course. When times are tough, everyone appreciates a soft place to land. But most often, the people around are at their best when they challenge you.

3. How Do You Spend Your Money?
Spend, save, invest, donate—your financial choices have a huge impact. Carelessness is a one-way ticket out of Bestville. Lean on your team. Educate yourself. Make the best possible decisions.

4. What Occupies Your Time?
Make the best of your days, your hours, your time. Raise your standard and use your time accordingly. Each choice matters immensely. Treat your schedule with respect and wisdom.

5. What Are Your Values?
Opinions and beliefs can change. Facts can change. Values beneath it all are what guide us. Yes, the air is heady atop Mount Best. But the best version of you is still you. Don’t forget the principles that got you there.

6. Who Are You Helping?
There is no “best” if there isn’t a lot of giving involved. Not everyone may have the options you have. Social dynamics are a daunting obstacle. When you break through to be your best, bring as many folks along as possible.

“Your” Best Can Be a Team Effort
Collective efforts rock! Your best is awesome but what if you could double it? Working with a professional helps. Your current skills are evaluated and improved. Valuable new skills are learned. You practice and you grow. Best of all, you and your coach or therapist will focus intensely on what it means to reach your best and how to stay there. In fact, those weekly sessions will help you realize and accept what was mentioned above: “Your best” is not a static destination. It’s an ongoing process!

Filed Under: balance, goals, health, healthy relationship

Does Online Therapy for Couples Really Work? Yes! Here’s Why

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Mention online therapy for couples and you may face resistance or dislike. Mention online dating and the reaction will typically be more positive. Yep, Internet culture sees us regularly consulting YouTube to “solve” daily problems but many folks remain skeptical of online couples counseling. Let’s recap:

We can connect with someone online in such a way that we commit to a life together.
We trust uploaded videos to help us with virtually every aspect of life.
But we give the side-eye to online therapy for couples.
It’s time to see this situation with new eyes. But first, let’s back up and set the stage.

Why Couples Counseling?
No couple is immune from conflict nor should they be. It’s a big part of growth and evolving compatibility. However, a struggle becomes a war when the lines of communication blur or our sex life becomes nonexistent. Committing, as a team, to regular therapy sessions brings you both so many results, e.g.

A safe space to open up—especially about topics you normally avoid
The benefit of an unbiased professional guide
A new awareness of who you are and who your partner is
Re-booting the passion and excitement that initially brought you together
New, improved communication skills
Building a new and even stronger foundation from which to grow as a couple
In many ways, online therapy is quite similar to traditional counseling in terms of aiming for and attaining such results. However, it offers couples some very unique options and benefits.

Below is a brief look at these differences. For more details, it’s best to speak with a licensed online therapist.

How Does Online Therapy for Couples Work?

1. It Breaks the Mold
Thanks to pop culture, the reflexive image of couples counseling is not always positive. We see unhappy couples hating every minute of a dull, ugly, and ineffective experience. While this utterly inaccurate portrayal helps no one, there is a way to navigate around its fallout. Online sessions can change our perception and therefore, change our ability to reach results.

2. Convenience and Pricing
No commute, no travel costs, no parking issues, not having to get out of your comfy sweats—these are just a few of the convenience factors. Life is full, money is tight, and there never seems to be enough hours in the day. Even so, we need help. Choosing video sessions goes a long way in easing this experience into your weekly plans. I even have several couples who do what I affectionately now call “car therapy” where they use their lunch break for a session and fit their mental health in midday!

3. Privacy and Lack of Stigma
Few of us like to admit any vulnerability. In addition, we like to keep our personal life private. Not physically entering a facility enables us to seek help without any exterior concerns.

4. It Can be Combined With Individual Counseling and Coaching
The issues that bring us to couples counseling often correlate to the personal issues of each partner. This is why it’s often suggested to combine individual therapy with couples counseling. Online sessions make this possible and, of course, bring with them all the advantages discussed here.

5. It Locks in Your Communication Skills
The format of video sessions demands more of our attention and thus, more of our communication skills. The foundation of connection and recovery is healthy communication. Online therapy for couples—by definition—keeps the focus on tight communication in every session.

 

Get More Information
When a breakthrough occurs, it’s not always obvious. Sometimes, it seems counter-intuitive. Online therapy for couples is the wave of the future but we don’t always recognize that the future has arrived. The key? Self-education. Gather evidence. Arm yourself with information. Then make the best decision for you.

To learn more about online therapy and coaching —including options and discounts—contact Healing Happens Therapy and Coaching now for a free consultation!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

6 Ways an Online Coach Can Satisfy Your Craving for Body Confidence & Nutritional Guidance

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  1. Convenience
    You want to feel better, and look better but have tried on your own and find yourself starting over and over. Feeling overwhelmed by it all, it’s not always easy or even possible with all of life and work to set up in-person appointments for help. An online coach removes that issue from the equation. From there, you can focus on what matters and relax into your growth.
  2. Privacy and Peace of Mind
    Being in the comfort of your home is huge. It truly helps with integration too. All the things you learn are then associated with accessibility and not some far off office of someone else’s. For a wide variety of reasons, we may wish to keep our personal work private. Not having to actually be present at a facility is a great first step. In addition, your online coach will use only the safest, most private forms of communication.
  3. Catering to Your Specific Needs
    Some of us may have physical or emotional conditions that make it arduous to adhere to a regular schedule of in-person meetings. In other cases, work or family obligations may leave little free time for ourselves. By eliminating the commute, online coaching allows you to use your me-time to bring out the best in you. Hair bun and sweats? Perfect!
  4. Expertise
    A qualified coach is your guide to the sometimes confusing world of habits, nutrition, workouts, self-care, setting and reaching goals. Take the guesswork and frustration out of your eating choices and daily routines. With one on one sessions and 24-hour email contact, you will be in steady contact with the support you deserve.
  5. Extra Help and Support
    Online coaching is not limited to the video sessions themselves. (See below for more details.)
  6. Affordability
    There are obvious factors that make online coaching more cost-efficient. Each case is unique but the details are just an email or phone call away.

How Does One Get Started in the Brave New World of Online Coaching?
Not just any therapist is experienced and qualified in Teletherapy. At Healing Happens Therapy and Coaching, Kelly Montgomery, LMFT is available for both online coaching and online therapy. This service satisfies all the above-mentioned factors. It also includes:

Virtual “Office Hours” where Kelly is available for free 10-minute check-in calls
24/7 availability via email to answer questions and offer strategic advice to make sure you take consistent action and receive the highest value.
That extra help and support are priceless to help build healthy habits, maintain growth through the week, and make lasting changes. To learn more about options and discounts, contact us right away for a free consultation!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Need a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach? What They Do and How They Can Help You

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You can’t be an expert on everything. Life can get overwhelming and we can get stuck in places we desperately want to get out of. Therefore, it’s only logical to sometimes ask for help.

Generally, each of us has our realms of expertise. Some of us choose to share that knowledge. Two good examples: life coaches and health & wellness coaches. It doesn’t get any more fundamental than what they teach: seeking balance by choosing balance.

What Does a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach Do?
A holistic way to answer this question is to point out that such coaches make the big connections. For example, let’s say you and your partner are in the midst of a rough patch. Taking some time to yourself or choosing to attend couple counseling together is great. But what about when those outside factors kick in again?

Life can toss an infinite variety of challenges at us. The best way to greet these challenges is with a sense of balance. This comes from a balanced approach to managing your life. You address concerns both inside and out. You learn to recognize how it all connects.

Life coaches and health & wellness coaches vary in their approaches and their backgrounds. What they share in common is a passion to guide. Coaches gather information and offer guidance in those parts of your life that feel stuck or unfulfilling.

How Can a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach Help You?
1. Create a game plan
There’s an old saying about knowing the rules well before you break them. The same can be said for having a solid plan in place. Before you try spontaneity, you need to understand the basics. Working with a coach empowers you and provides a structure of core strategies and new ways to evolve whether it’s with body mind or soul.

  1. Learn fun ways to get active
    Our tech-based culture encourages a sedentary lifestyle. Coaching inspires us to learn fresh ways to sweat and smile. How about yoga, dance, and more at Oakland’s Flying Studios?
  2. Become the architect of your eating habits (and supplementation)
    What you consume will dictate how much energy you have to live a full life. Hydration, healthy meals, smart supplementation—it all adds up to fuel us well. Consult an expert to guide you through this ever-evolving process.
  3. Have someone to contact beyond weekly sessions
    It’s often tough to get appointments with doctors. Therapists and personal trainers are all yours—one hour at a time. A life/health & wellness coach is more a presence in your daily life. Besides face-to-face sessions, you may do phone calls or video chats. In addition, there’s 24/7 access to email or chat messages. To start, this kind of contact is crucial. Over time, you’ll develop new problem-solving skills and begin trusting yourself as much as you trust your coach!
  4. Develop a self-care regimen
    Even with steady contact with your coach, the onus is on you for self-care. The basics include the aforementioned healthy eating habits and daily activity. Add in regular sleep patterns and reliable stress management and you’re treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated. With self-care in place, you’ll find you are more receptive and enthusiastic about the coaching you receive.
  5. Live in the present moment
    Look into your past and find your regrets. Gaze into the future and your anxiety may kick in. In the present moment, however, all you have is here and now.

Where Do You Find a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach?

Look no further. At Healing Happens Therapy & Coaching we offer a wide range of health services—including life coaching and health & wellness coaching. All of our services share a vision. We understand that mind and body are one. Therefore, true health is created by honoring an integrated approach. Call today for a free 10-minute consultation and discover how you can become the captain of your own destiny.

Filed Under: get your sexy back, goals, health, healthy relationship, motivation, nutrition, self care, self help, self love, therapy, weight loss

More Than Cards and Candy: How to Give the Gift of Deeper Love

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Healthy romance requires a delicate sense of balance. Yes, of course, there can be a time for cards and candy. But long-term love is not just swiping right or sharing the best meme. Sustainable, evolving, and deeper love is a process—not a destination. It begins with getting in touch with your own feelings and patterns in the realm of love and romance.

What is Deeper Love?

For starters, it might help to offer some examples of what deeper love is not:

  • Being “soul mates”
  • A belief that “love at first sight” is enough
  • The requirement that partners fulfill all of each other’s needs
  • How much money you spend on gifts
  • It’s not easy, it’s not always permanent, and it never includes abuse

The list could go on but you may see the pattern that what we’re taught by pop culture can be sabotaging our relationships. Deeper love cannot be purchased and does not require a price tag. But it does require your full attention and a willingness to learn and work.

6 Ways to Give the Gift of Deeper Love

1. Re-Imagine Intimacy

In the beginning, there is lust. This isn’t meant to imply that lust is temporary. However, how we experience intimacy will change. It must change. Translation: There is much more to deep intimacy than intercourse. Deeper love can find a home with every gentle touch, cuddle, neck massage, and moment of sustained eye contact.

2. Never Take Your Relationship or Partner for Granted

You’re never finished learning how to love. Each day offers a new opportunity to grow and discover. Your foundation is eroded each time you don’t make the effort. Every time you think things are good enough, you run the risk things turning bad. Relationships require commitment. Pop culture jokes about this being scary. In reality, it’s some of the most meaningful work you’ll ever do.

3. Build a Foundation of Trust

Thanks to our smartphone society, there are more ways than ever to be unfaithful. Privacy is a right. Secrecy can be a poison. Talk openly about boundaries and needs. Make sure to speak out when you have concerns. Learn to trust and then put in the work to fortify that trust.

4. Love Other Things Together

You love each other. What do you love together? While it’s crucial to create independent lives, it’s equally as important to cultivate new adventures and interests together. A few suggestions:

  • Take cooking lessons together at Kitchen on Fire
  • Learn how to row at California Canoe & Kayak
  • Become swingers at Trapeze Arts
  • Get your sizzle on at Argentine Tango

5. Don’t Mistake Jealousy for Deep Love

Controlling your partner is not a sign of love. Suspicion is not romantic. Jealousy may be a common punchline but it’s not funny in real life. Go back to #3 and work on that trust foundation. Create a connection in which questions are welcome and transparency is the norm.

6. Communicate

It all comes back to this. As a couple, you must communicate. You must never stop communicating. Perhaps most importantly, you must never stop learning new ways to communicate.

Cards, Candy, and…what about Counseling?

Evolving love and compatibility takes work to happen. Such work requires some skills. Learning those skills is not a do-it-yourself task. In counseling—perhaps at our Valentine’s VIP Couples Intensive—deeper love can be explored. This includes developing ways to express your love. Let’s face it, we’re not really encouraged to dig deep and bare our souls on this holiday. But romance and relationships do not thrive on cards and candy alone. Discovering more about yourselves at Healing Happens Therapy is a great start to giving more and enjoying more in all facets of your life together.

Filed Under: couples counseling, healthy relationship, holidays, romance

Craving a Closer Connection? 6 Ways to Build Intimacy

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Craving a Closer Connection? 6 Ways to Build Intimacy

The honeymoon is over. This cliché is never a good thing to hear. It can be applied pretty broadly but has its roots in the belief that all relationships eventually “cool off.” This, of course, depends on how you perceive relationships overall.Like all human ventures, there is a feeling specific to the beginning of relationships. Our first mistake is to believe this vibe (or any vibe) is automatically permanent. Relationships, individuals, and intimacy all evolve. Change is most often a good thing. Without an openness to new ideas, behaviors, and perceptions, intimacy will fade.

What Causes Intimacy to Fade?

1. Silence

Intimacy cannot exist without healthy communication. If you let silence become your language of choice, more than your intimacy will fade.

2. Lack of Touch

Intimacy cannot exist without touch. Cuddling, holding hands, a shoulder rub—there is no limit to what falls under the umbrella of “healthy physical contact.”

3. Roommate Syndrome

Living together often makes us feel more like business partners than lovers—especially when children are in the picture. If laundry, soccer practice, and car repairs dominate your connection, you have work to do.

4. Fighting

Myth: Intimacy and conflict cannot coexist. We are complex beings. Relationships thrive on the fact that we are individuals. However, if we allow fighting to preempt intimacy, there is likely a deeper problem that needs attention.

6 Ways to Build Intimacy

1. Communicate

This topic was #1 on the above list. It’s back at the top here, too. We use spoken language to convey our feelings and state of mind. Without this avenue, it’s unreasonable to assume an intimate link can be maintained. Set aside time each day to communicate. Hone your skills. Be ready to listen.

2. Prioritize Oral

This doesn’t mean what you might think it does! Text, chat, and email are all fine. Face-to-face communication is where intimacy deepens. Tech messages can enhance that connection. But never allow non-verbal to become your method of choice.

3. Say No to Porn

Too much Internet pornography is now recognized as a public health crisis. It creates unhealthy sexual perspectives, leads to erectile dysfunction, and removes the imagination from the equation. Your brain is your hottest sex organ. Porn often numbs and negates its power.

4. Re-Imagine What Intimacy Can Mean

Sometimes this world also can steer us away from some of life’s most simple yet amazing pleasures. The value of sustained eye contact is as high as anything you do when aroused and naked. Make this part of your communication time. Talk about ways to heighten intimacy in everyday life.

5. Get Out of the Normal Routine

Where is it written that intimacy only happens in your bedroom? The Oakland area is home to some wonderful and romantic bed and breakfast-style inns. For example, The Bates House, International Casa, and the Bellevue Club are suggested getaways on many travel sites.

6. Make Intimacy a Top Priority

Intimacy is easily weakened when we do not focus on it enough. Lust often creates the first connection. But lust is often taken for granted. Try viewing your intimate life with the same daily focus as your financial life and see what happens.

Have You Considered Seeing Other People?

No…not in that way. Couples counseling not only builds intimacy, it’s a form of intimacy. You are your partner commit to weekly sessions or an all-day one time, VIP session—challenging, cathartic, connecting. You openly discuss your thoughts and feelings, learn to recognize patterns, and move forward as a couple. Therapy can teach and guide. Quite often, couples need a tune-up of sorts. Life pulls us in so many directions that we lose sight of our priorities. Couples counseling is where we can return to our roots in order to grow together in new ways.

Filed Under: communication, couples, healthy relationship Tagged With: , , ,

What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

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What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

What a time to be alive! That line may be the stuff of silly memes, but it has a very serious side, too. Rapid changes in how we communicate have significantly changed the field of mental health for the better. Scheduling difficulties, time restraints, and even geographical distance no longer automatically prevent you from working with the therapist of your choice. Thanks to telemental healthcare, the playing field has shifted.

What is Telemental Healthcare?

Sure, therapists have been doing phone sessions in a pinch for years. Today, however, teletherapy is a featured service and this means using a face-to-face video platform. Your device may be:

  • Desktop computer
  • Laptop
  • Tablet
  • Smartphone

What matters is that you’re comfortable with the technology and are able to arrange for a private time. From there, it’s just like any other session with your therapist—without the commute, rush, or barriers created by a disability. The video platform allows important elements like voice inflections and facial gestures to be factored in.

What You Need to Know About Telemental Healthcare

1. Ask your therapist about their experience

Not all counselors are skilled or comfortable using telemental healthcare. Ask questions about their experience. Perhaps try one session first before committing to this format.

2. Talk to your therapist about the video platform being used

Of course, privacy is paramount. Licenced therapist use HIPPA compliant platforms. To keep your information private, make certain the platform is the most secure choice available.

3. Learn about state laws

State licensure and regulations vary from state to state. This could impact your ability to work with your preferred therapist. Clarify all such details with your counselor before beginning.

4. Is it right for you?

If you can easily get to a physical appointment, are you the kind of person for whom this is optimal? Sometimes, to have a specific go-to venue for counseling is part of the benefit. The goal and purpose of telemental healthcare is not merely a convenience. As with all modalities, it’s about recovery and results.

The Benefits of Online Therapy

1. Making the impossible possible

The most obvious benefit is a drastic reduction in scheduling obstacles. For example, if your job takes you temporarily from Oakland to Los Angeles, or you work a different schedule like a fireman, it no longer means you will go without therapy during that time. Of course, telemental healthcare is especially important for those with a disability that makes traveling a challenge.

2. Countering the stigma

We’ve come a long way, but the stigma of therapy can still exist for some. Even today, individuals can face family or work pressure surrounding their choice to seek therapy. Scheduling a location other than a therapist’s office may provide privacy and peace of mind.

3. It may coincide with your specific needs

You may, for example, be seeking therapy due to depression or severe social anxiety. These circumstances quite possibly could make it daunting for you to commit to a regular appointment outside your home. “Teletherapy,” in such cases, is an ideal entry point for moving towards recovery.

How to Connect with an Online Therapist

Telemental healthcare is a relatively new approach. As touched on above, it has unique requirements. Therefore, those seeking to try this method must choose carefully. Equally so, tele-therapists must wisely discern which patients are best able to adapt to the video platform. To learn more, and perhaps get started in the realm of telemental healthcare, contact Healing Happens Therapy for a free consultation.

Filed Under: balance, calm, communication, couples counseling, depression, divorce, family, goals, health, healthy relationship, infidelity, men's couseling, new years resolutions, parenting, purpose, reframe, self care, self help, self love, stress, therapy, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Ways to Stay Healthy and Happy During the Holidays: Supplements & Best Practices

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Does decking the halls count as cardio? The annual holiday season is more than a time of celebration, family, and conspicuous consumption. It’s when we casually and willfully break all those good habits we’ve created for the previous 11 months.

We eat junk, drink way too much alcohol, and get way too little sleep. Factor in the family drama and rampant overspending and, well, you can kiss “health and happiness” goodbye. But what if I told you that you can enjoy the holidays without experiencing a complete health breakdown?

How to Stay Healthy and Happy During the Holidays

Supplements

Let’s first dispense with the common refrain that “there’s a new miracle pill every day.” Yes, there are those who try to cash in on inaccurate claims. But nutrition, as a whole, is more static than we might imagine. The nutrients and supplements we require are easy to learn. But, like everything else, we need focus and commitment to using this information safely and effectively.

Did you know that the mineral content in fruits and vegetables has decreased by at least 60 percent since 1940? The reasons for this are too many to list. But they all add up to us needing more than good eating habits to stay at our best.

From national chains like GNC to smaller, mom-and-pop shops like Lakeshore Natural Foods and Milagros De Mexico, Oakland is brimming with places to learn We need to also be aware and look for a “no compromise” ingredients as supplements are not regulated in the US and we must demand quality bioavailable products. As a Certifed Nutritional Advisor, I’m happy to go over which brands I recommend for quality and assurance.

Best Practices

1. It all starts with basic self-care

The best way to develop health-related discipline is self-care. The best first step towards holiday health is self-care. It’s nice the way that works out, huh? What is basic self-care? We’re glad you asked:

  • Regular sleeping habits
  • Healthy eating choices (and remember those supplements!)
  • Daily exercise and activity
  • Stress management and relaxation techniques ( and omg the adaptogens, now those make you feel great!)

2. Communication

“Silent Night” may be a popular seasonal tune but silence is not best for you. It’s essential that you speak up—politely and as early as possible—about your personal needs. Make those in your life aware that you’re planning to have fun but perhaps not as they will. Honestly, there’s no rational reason to toss all your common sense habits just because it’s December. The trick lies in conveying this clearly but not belligerently.

3. Solitude is not selfishness

There will be times when you indulge. The healthy trade-off is balance. Holiday fun is not a contest. You don’t lose points for sitting out a few plays. Honor your needs. Take time to yourself to balance out the inevitable social splurges.

4. Plan active events

So much of the holiday festivities involve us sitting still—eating, drinking, and so on. Once again, in the name of balance, why not plan some active events? For example, try a group hike before the meals are served and drinks are poured. Ice skating burns some calories too!

5. Create new traditions

This can get tricky with the purists but, in the end, people will do what’s fun. Collaborate and create traditions that mix healthier foods, activity, and a drastic decrease in toxin consumption.

Give Yourself the Gift of Guidance

Take out an old-fashioned pen and paper. Write “holiday shopping” at the top and begin that list by promising yourself the gift of guidance. This year, you can unwrap a present that will never stop giving. We all have our areas of expertise. In addition, we all have limits on our time. Therefore, it’s not always realistic to assume we can find the time to learn all there is to know about the connection between mental health and physical wellness. At Healing Happens Therapy, you can get firsthand knowledge from an expert professional.  Come in, let’s get your life on track. Be your best in 2018!

Filed Under: burnout, health, new years resolutions, nutrition Tagged With: , , , ,

How Hepisil can Help You Cope with the Napa Valley Fires

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As the term suggests, natural disasters happen naturally—leaving us to figure out how to cope during and after. Fires, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornados, floods, and other such events can be life-ending. For survivors, natural disasters are often life-changing. The impact may be traumatic.

The Emotional Impact of Natural Disasters

Like any traumatic event, reactions can vary from individual to individual. But there are always common threads to be found, e.g.

  • Anxiety and depression
  • Intense mood swings and irritability (grow increasingly unpredictable)
  • Become withdrawal, anti-social, and fearful of another disaster
  • Loss of concentration and focus
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Vivid, ongoing flashbacks
  • Physical Consequences of Large-Scale Wildfires

Intense psychological issues—like those listed above—can manifest quickly into physical symptoms. Survivors of something like the Napa Valley wildfires may experience sleep and eating issues, headaches, nausea, and immune dysfunction.

The release of evermore airborne toxins also puts an intense stress on the liver. This impacts the many crucial functions performed by this, the body’s second-largest organ. For example, the football-sized liver is responsible for:

  • Metabolism of nutrients
  • Synthesizing of glycogen for energy
  • A wide variety of natural detoxification processes
  • Under normal circumstances, it’s always important to practice liver support. For those living near the Napa Valley wildfires, from Oakland to San Jose, it’s even more urgent now. Wildfire smoke contains fine particles. These particles can cause, among other things:
    • Coughing and sore throat
    • Sinus irritation
    • Burning eyes
    • Nasal issues, runny nose
    • Bronchitis
    • Fatigue
    • Shortness of breath
    • Heart palpitations

This particle-caused toxic overload leads to an over-stressing of the liver. Thus, this is the ideal time to consider natural counter-options like Hepisil.

What is Hepisil?

Hepisil (also spelled Hepasil) is a natural supplement, a blend of antioxidants designed to support and maintain the liver. Its primary ingredient is Milk Thistle Extract, an invaluable antioxidant that plays a major role in supporting the enzyme systems involved in the body’s detoxification process.

Other ingredients include:

  • Alpha-lipoic acid
  • A patented olive fruit extract Olivol
  • Green tea extract
  • Turmeric extract
  • Choline
  • N-acetyl L-cysteine
  • Biotin

How Hepisil Can Help You Cope with the Napa Valley Fires

  1. Milk Thistle Extract is a powerful detoxifier. As mentioned above, wildfires = fine air particles. Inhaling this air puts a big-time demand on your liver’s workload. Hepisil’s main ingredient is designed to ease that load through detoxification.
  2. Milk Thistle Extract has anti-cancer properties. In addition, a sudden increase in airborne toxins can include carcinogens. This is particularly dangerous for the lungs. Milk Thistle Extract has been shown to be a powerful anti-cancer fighter.
  3. Alpha-lipoic acid can reduce chemical toxicityComplementing the Milk Thistle is Alpha-lipoic acid. This crucial antioxidant works as a bulwark against the daily toxic onslaught.
  4. A powerful blend of other antioxidants in the mixHepisil’s ingredient list reads like an antioxidant army. To focus on one example, green tea extract’s polyphenols have been found to chelate metals and promote anti-cancer activity.
  5. No prescription needed with minimal/rare side effects. We all know how tricky it can be when it comes to pharmaceuticals. From pricing to side effects, the risks are well-documented. Hepisil is not a prescription, but you should look for pharmaceutical grade supplements like Usana brand. The overall price and risk are both significantly lower than a prescription drug.

Choosing an Integrated Approach

In times of crisis, our recovery may depend on us choosing a holistic approach to healing. Specifically, when dealing with the aftermath of the Napa Valley wildfires, it’s essential to seek out a practitioner who understands the value of an integrated approach. At Healing Happens Therapy, you will be helped from the inside—with full respect for the connection between physical wellness and mental health.

Filed Under: health, nutrition Tagged With: , , , ,

Ditch Dieting Anxiety: Healthier Ways to Approach Weight and Wellness

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Diet. Even just the word itself is often a source of anxiety. It can stir up feelings of guilt and shame and kick our negative self-talk into high gear. But we can approach weight and wellness in a healthier way. A shift in perspective may be required but it’s absolutely possible!

Why does dieting stress us out so much?

No one feels good when restricting themselves. Thanks to social media, we also feel more pressure than ever about body image. Dieting is a double whammy. We stress and obsess over the specifics, calorie counts, and ingredient purity. And we also get hit with all those body image issues. Dieting is stressful and often counterproductive for many reasons, e.g.

They aim a temporary fix at a long-term concern.
The whole idea of a diet is to “go on” it until you stop. This could be because you reached your goal or simply gave up. A healthier approach to weight and wellness would involve a big picture view of eating habits.

You must allocate so much mental energy.
The time and energy needed are exhausting. Turning something natural into a rule-laden sacrifice requires us to expend energy in very unproductive directions.

There is a lot of bad information out there.
It was bad before the Internet. And now? There is far more bad and dangerous advice than anything useful. Everyone is an “expert” and credentials are virtually impossible to verify. How can this not lead to dieting anxiety? We can’t morph into nutrition experts overnight. Find an experienced, qualified mentor.

Why is it important to maintain healthy eating habits?

It would be wonderful if we could condition ourselves to reject all imposed body standards. We’d no longer conform to society’s demands and eat whatever we want. Thinking for yourself is a wonderful idea. Eating whatever you want is another story.

Our bodies (and minds) require us to pay attention to what we consume. It’s not just about calories and sugar content. To feel our best, we must take responsibility for our lifestyle choices. Again, a great place to start is to find a mentor.

A Few Healthy Ways to Approach Weight and Wellness

Lifestyle
It’s not a trend or fad. It’s not something we do for a month before our sister’s wedding. Taking responsibility for our eating habits is a lifestyle change. We tweak it and re-evaluate it, of course, but it’s still a long-term decision.

Get active
Burning calories goes hand in hand with counting calories. Our body craves movement. Movement keeps us lean, flexible, and functional. This is another reason why “diets” stress and fail. They don’t address the need for activity. Step away from your phones and laptops and go try a spin class at RIDE Oakland!

Practice portion control
This is a good bit of nuts-and-bolts advice. One of the hardest parts of changing our eating habits is reducing or possibly eliminating foods we love. Don’t start with that challenge. Instead, go with portion control. Commit to eating a small amount less at every meal. In no time, you will have seriously decreased intake and proven to yourself that yes, you can change. Tackling this change will make it easier to then address dietary content.

If you’re thinking, “Sure, I’ve heard all this a million times…”

It’s common to hear people bemoan how “there’s something new each week” when it comes to diet. Things can get confusing and therefore, demoralizing. As touched on above, weight and wellness is a loaded combination. Ideally, we can get input from someone who understands the emotional and physical factors—and how those factors combine. At Healing Happens Therapy, we help clients take a look at the whole picture. We address this challenging issue from the inside out.

Filed Under: balance, health, nutrition, weight loss Tagged With: , , , , , ,

From Infidelity to Intimacy. Why it’s Possible How to Get There.

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Intimacy between partners evolves naturally. There are many good and exciting reasons for this. Unfortunately, in some cases, loss of intimacy can come about due to a crisis like an infidelity. There is too much guilt, shame, anger, doubt, and uncertainty to even contemplate intimacy.

At first, this will likely be the case. However, if you are part of a couple who opted to stay together, this issue will ease back into your daily consciousness in time.

Is Intimacy Possible After Infidelity?

The short answer is “yes.” The longer answer depends on each couple—their foundation, goals, and individual personalities. It also is rooted in how couples define and express intimacy. Our society might lump it all under the decidedly un-helpful label of “having sex.” In reality, we all know intimacy is an evolving, eye-of-the-beholder concept.

Intimacy can be broken into these broad categories:

  • Intellectual
  • Spiritual
  • Emotional
  • Financial
  • Recreational
  • Physical

Within each of these categories, the variations are endless. For the purposes of this post, we’ll focus physical intimacy. As you’ll see, however, they tend to blur into each other!

How to Move Towards Post-Infidelity Intimacy

1. Start with communication

Even if infidelity were not a factor, you’d start with communication. But since a betrayal has occurred, this becomes doubly important. Schedule time to talk about your feelings and needs. Make sure you listen and make sure you’re heard.

2. Laugh together

It’s been said that shared laughter is erotic. This option encompasses almost all the intimacy forms listed above. Get back to having fun. It helps re-connect you and goes a long way to bringing back the spark and desire. Make a date for a night at Comedy Oakland!

3. Don’t rely on pornography to “jump start” things

Internet porn does not encourage intimacy. It does quite the opposite. Your intimate life is your own to invent, re-invent, and define. Steer clear of extreme imagery and scripted action. Allow your imaginations to conjure up new ideas and directions.

4. Don’t relegate “foreplay” to a side note

We’re often conditioned to see intercourse and orgasm as sexual goals. Without them, it’s not sex. As you transition back into intimacy, let go of such conditioning. Use this as an opportunity to learn and grow.

5. Appreciate the “little” things

Holding hands, a gentle touch, sustained eye contact, or a kiss on the forehead—the list is infinite. Don’t overlook or underestimate the role these moments and gestures of intimacy play in your reconnection. After infidelity, it’s not a countdown to how soon you get naked. It’s an endless journey of small steps. Appreciate each one.

6. Maintain an open mind

Intimacy is not a destination. It’s a process. Like any process, it requires your attention and flexibility. It’s important to set boundaries. However, remain open to other’s needs and desires.

7. Be patient

A painful betrayal occurred. To act as if it is easy to bounce back is counterproductive. Do not set any deadlines or create any more pressure than already exists.

Seeking Help to Make the Commitment

There are many variables that can influence a couple impacted by betrayal. One universal factor is confusion. Where do we start? What if I change my mind and need more time? How do I know if he’s thinking about me or the affair partner

All of these (and much more) are valid questions that may require guidance when seeking answers. That’s why, so often, the two partners commit to couples counseling. Those weekly sessions are where everything is brought out in the open. In such an environment, the transition from infidelity to intimacy becomes possible.

Filed Under: Affair, Uncategorized