Healing Happens Therapy

you can heal, we can help.

Relationship & Intimacy Expert, reconnecting couples through counseling so you can rebuild and get on with the best parts of being in a relationship!

Certified Nutritional Advisor and Professional Life Coach, helping motivated people take back their health, reach their goals and integrate a sense of balance in their lives.

What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

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What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

What a time to be alive! That line may be the stuff of silly memes, but it has a very serious side, too. Rapid changes in how we communicate have significantly changed the field of mental health for the better. Scheduling difficulties, time restraints, and even geographical distance no longer automatically prevent you from working with the therapist of your choice. Thanks to telemental healthcare, the playing field has shifted.

What is Telemental Healthcare?

Sure, therapists have been doing phone sessions in a pinch for years. Today, however, teletherapy is a featured service and this means using a face-to-face video platform. Your device may be:

  • Desktop computer
  • Laptop
  • Tablet
  • Smartphone

What matters is that you’re comfortable with the technology and are able to arrange for a private time. From there, it’s just like any other session with your therapist—without the commute, rush, or barriers created by a disability. The video platform allows important elements like voice inflections and facial gestures to be factored in.

What You Need to Know About Telemental Healthcare

1. Ask your therapist about their experience

Not all counselors are skilled or comfortable using telemental healthcare. Ask questions about their experience. Perhaps try one session first before committing to this format.

2. Talk to your therapist about the video platform being used

Of course, privacy is paramount. Licenced therapist use HIPPA compliant platforms. To keep your information private, make certain the platform is the most secure choice available.

3. Learn about state laws

State licensure and regulations vary from state to state. This could impact your ability to work with your preferred therapist. Clarify all such details with your counselor before beginning.

4. Is it right for you?

If you can easily get to a physical appointment, are you the kind of person for whom this is optimal? Sometimes, to have a specific go-to venue for counseling is part of the benefit. The goal and purpose of telemental healthcare is not merely a convenience. As with all modalities, it’s about recovery and results.

The Benefits of Online Therapy

1. Making the impossible possible

The most obvious benefit is a drastic reduction in scheduling obstacles. For example, if your job takes you temporarily from Oakland to Los Angeles, or you work a different schedule like a fireman, it no longer means you will go without therapy during that time. Of course, telemental healthcare is especially important for those with a disability that makes traveling a challenge.

2. Countering the stigma

We’ve come a long way, but the stigma of therapy can still exist for some. Even today, individuals can face family or work pressure surrounding their choice to seek therapy. Scheduling a location other than a therapist’s office may provide privacy and peace of mind.

3. It may coincide with your specific needs

You may, for example, be seeking therapy due to depression or severe social anxiety. These circumstances quite possibly could make it daunting for you to commit to a regular appointment outside your home. “Teletherapy,” in such cases, is an ideal entry point for moving towards recovery.

How to Connect with an Online Therapist

Telemental healthcare is a relatively new approach. As touched on above, it has unique requirements. Therefore, those seeking to try this method must choose carefully. Equally so, tele-therapists must wisely discern which patients are best able to adapt to the video platform. To learn more, and perhaps get started in the realm of telemental healthcare, contact Healing Happens Therapy for a free consultation.

Filed Under: balance, calm, communication, couples counseling, depression, divorce, family, goals, health, healthy relationship, infidelity, men's couseling, new years resolutions, parenting, purpose, reframe, self care, self help, self love, stress, therapy, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

The Same Argument Every Day? 5 Ways to Stop the Fight

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After living with your partner for a while, you fall into coAdd subtitle textmfortable patterns.  Sometimes, the patterns come to feel like home in and of themselves; you feel cared for and safe. Everything seems to be going well (sits back and relaxes*). You’re not out of the woods yet, though (sits back up*). Communication between you and your partner can also start to look pretty routine. Unfortunately, at certain points in your relationship, conflicts can keep popping up again and again too—often about seemingly trivial things. “Why can’t we move past this?” you wonder.

Whether you’ve lived here in Oakland all your life, or are from somewhere halfway across the world, anyone can get stuck using the same language with your spouse and using a pattern of not really hearing each other.

The good news is that you can stop the fight without stopping all the good stuff too (phew!*). It just might take some extra work.

When arguments become repetitive, a few things have probably happened: You’re angry not just about what’s happening now, but also about the memory of the last fight. And your fuse is so short, it feels much easier to spar with each other than to talk.

5 Steps to End the Eternal Fight

1. Take a seat

If you and your partner have been arguing about your workloads around the house, the next time your partner doesn’t unload the dishwasher, feelings of blame and unfairness can crop up immediately. You might feel like you just want to get all your anger out while it’s boiling. Taking a “time-out” to sit down with each other gives you a few moments to collect yourselves, and it makes resolving the conflict your central focus.

2. Disagree as a team

When you and your partner argue, it’s all too easy to let the disconnect take center stage. Maybe you say hurtful things to each other, not caring in the moment how the remark might land. If you commit to sticking together even when you’re fighting, showing flashes of affection amidst the hail storm, it often becomes less about who’s right or wrong, and more about moving on together.

3. Take responsibility

Sometimes when you’re arguing with your partner or spouse, it can be tempting to immediately say “no!” to all accusations, even if the angry words belie some kernel of truth. When you take responsibility for the things you really have done or said, you stop the verbal ping-pong, and start moving toward something that looks a little less like anger, and a little more like discussion.

4. Find the subtext

Seemingly trivial arguments about chores or social commitments are often the tip of much murkier icebergs. It makes sense that if you assume the worst about your partner, you’d be pretty upset. Rather than jumping to a conclusion about your spouse’s motivations, be inquisitive. Be inquisitive about your own motivations and feelings too. Explain that you’re not really angry about a dirty dish, it’s more that you feel like you often have to retrace his steps for him.

5. Find solutions

When you and your partner are left to your own emotional devices, you might get so caught up in arguing that you don’t get to the best part—moving forward. Offer up solutions, even if you’re not sure they’ll work. Show your partner that working on your life together is always your main goal (riding into sunset*).

Filed Under: arguing, calm, communication, couples, couples counseling, healthy relationship, love, romance Tagged With: , , , , ,

Teammates for life, get more connection

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 Teammates for life

Ever feel like you are married and happy but honestly don’t feel the togetherness factor? Do you notice that you do your own thing and he does his, and you really have more separateness than togetherness?  There is something to be said about feeling like a team in your marriage.  Although it can be very healthy to have you individualism inside your marriage, too much of that can lead to a disconnect.  Feeling like a teammates can come from a lot of varied things.  Check your relationship out and see if you have any of these to gain more connection:

~A personalized or secret handshake

~Inside jokes

~A shared hobby or interest that you are active in

~A one-time project you can support on another in (like a diet or exercise program)

Even coming to therapy together is a great bonding experience. Try it out. Call 510-507-1763, visit me, Kelly Montgomery, LMFT in my office in Oakland at www.healinghappenstherapy.com.

Filed Under: balance, calm, couples, couples counseling, creativity, love, Oakland, playfulness, romance Tagged With: , ,

Arguing, feeling disconnected? Here is a tip to help calm things down.

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Sometimes we walk around our beautiful city, Oakland. We stroll by Lake Merritt and have to cross busy Harrison street to get there.  I always feel just a little bit safer, warmer when my man holds my hand crossing the street.  Take this and apply it to when are not feeling so lovey dovey.  Even the smallest touch can help. The chemicals in our bodies react even if we don’t know it.  Try talking and touching simultaneously. A hand on the small of the back, or facing each other with arms around each others waist.  Even if you are sitting on the couch, remember to touch. Play with her hair, or place your hand on his knee. Even if nothing sexual arrives, this is connection and can lead to a loving gaze, a kiss, or a great conversation. Go ahead and try it! It’s pretty difficult to have an argument while holding hands!

Call for a free 15 min consultation to get more tips on how to recover after an argument. www.healinghappenstherapy.com

Filed Under: arguing, calm, communication, couples, couples counseling, Oakland, touching Tagged With: , , , ,

5 ways to introduce self care

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Self care is about attempting to find a balance with you and your life, rhythm or schedule.  We must fit it in to have that balance we crave and to live a full life.  So how do you carve out time for you? What helps alleviate you and brings you back to center? Here are a few first steps to figure out how.

1. Edit you brain. (Listen to your self talk.  Is it mean? Is it unforgiving?  Reframe that self talk to aid you and  support you. Write down your reframe and post it on your car dash board or your mirror at home. Be specific.  Ex: I’m a bad housekeeper I never keep things clean! Reframe: I prioritize loving my family and working hard at other things besides cleaning.

2. Slow down. Stop multitasking. Take a moment in silence. Whether its a bath or a 10 minute mediation, take actual time for yourself to do NOTHING. Just listen to your breath going in and out. Turn your phone on silent.  Do not check your phone. You will survive!

3. Eat at least one super good for you meal a day. Feel good about what you  put in your body. Give yourself credit for that healthy meal.

4. Call a friend.  Connect with a trusted source. Talk about how you feel. Listen to them. Share. Connect. Be grateful you have a support system.

5. Hug someone! If you can, get some physical touch. Allow yourself to hug and be hugged. Receive the love and support you deserve.

Filed Under: calm, reframe, self care, self help, self love, slow down Tagged With: , , ,