Healing Happens Therapy

you can heal, we can help.

Relationship & Intimacy Expert, reconnecting couples through counseling so you can rebuild and get on with the best parts of being in a relationship!

Certified Nutritional Advisor and Professional Life Coach, helping motivated people take back their health, reach their goals and integrate a sense of balance in their lives.

What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

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What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

What a time to be alive! That line may be the stuff of silly memes, but it has a very serious side, too. Rapid changes in how we communicate have significantly changed the field of mental health for the better. Scheduling difficulties, time restraints, and even geographical distance no longer automatically prevent you from working with the therapist of your choice. Thanks to telemental healthcare, the playing field has shifted.

What is Telemental Healthcare?

Sure, therapists have been doing phone sessions in a pinch for years. Today, however, teletherapy is a featured service and this means using a face-to-face video platform. Your device may be:

  • Desktop computer
  • Laptop
  • Tablet
  • Smartphone

What matters is that you’re comfortable with the technology and are able to arrange for a private time. From there, it’s just like any other session with your therapist—without the commute, rush, or barriers created by a disability. The video platform allows important elements like voice inflections and facial gestures to be factored in.

What You Need to Know About Telemental Healthcare

1. Ask your therapist about their experience

Not all counselors are skilled or comfortable using telemental healthcare. Ask questions about their experience. Perhaps try one session first before committing to this format.

2. Talk to your therapist about the video platform being used

Of course, privacy is paramount. Licenced therapist use HIPPA compliant platforms. To keep your information private, make certain the platform is the most secure choice available.

3. Learn about state laws

State licensure and regulations vary from state to state. This could impact your ability to work with your preferred therapist. Clarify all such details with your counselor before beginning.

4. Is it right for you?

If you can easily get to a physical appointment, are you the kind of person for whom this is optimal? Sometimes, to have a specific go-to venue for counseling is part of the benefit. The goal and purpose of telemental healthcare is not merely a convenience. As with all modalities, it’s about recovery and results.

The Benefits of Online Therapy

1. Making the impossible possible

The most obvious benefit is a drastic reduction in scheduling obstacles. For example, if your job takes you temporarily from Oakland to Los Angeles, or you work a different schedule like a fireman, it no longer means you will go without therapy during that time. Of course, telemental healthcare is especially important for those with a disability that makes traveling a challenge.

2. Countering the stigma

We’ve come a long way, but the stigma of therapy can still exist for some. Even today, individuals can face family or work pressure surrounding their choice to seek therapy. Scheduling a location other than a therapist’s office may provide privacy and peace of mind.

3. It may coincide with your specific needs

You may, for example, be seeking therapy due to depression or severe social anxiety. These circumstances quite possibly could make it daunting for you to commit to a regular appointment outside your home. “Teletherapy,” in such cases, is an ideal entry point for moving towards recovery.

How to Connect with an Online Therapist

Telemental healthcare is a relatively new approach. As touched on above, it has unique requirements. Therefore, those seeking to try this method must choose carefully. Equally so, tele-therapists must wisely discern which patients are best able to adapt to the video platform. To learn more, and perhaps get started in the realm of telemental healthcare, contact Healing Happens Therapy for a free consultation.

Filed Under: balance, calm, communication, couples counseling, depression, divorce, family, goals, health, healthy relationship, infidelity, men's couseling, new years resolutions, parenting, purpose, reframe, self care, self help, self love, stress, therapy, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Talking About Sex vs. Mind Reading — 5 Reasons Why Talking is Best

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lady bug sex 1It’s no secret that the sex life you and your partner share plays a big role in how happy, safe, and loved you feel in your relationship. There’s even more to the story of sex than feeling physically good. Sex is a (very enjoyable) ritual of connection, drawing you and your partner into each other’s world.

So when it comes to twisting the sheets with your spouse, don’t be shy—talk about it! If you commit to being open with your partner about how you’re feeling in the bedroom, navigating a sometimes tricky subject can open you up to greater intimacy, not conflict (phew!*).

If you’re unsure or afraid of talking about sex, and usually find yourself mind reading instead, here are five great reasons to change tactics.

1. Mind reading won’t give you answers.

When it comes to figuring out what your partner likes in bed, talking gives you answers, while mind-reading yields guesses. If you’re not talking about sex, and jump to conclusions instead, an avalanche of worst-case scenarios can overwhelm you. You could start to feel really alone in your relationship or frustrated that you are not getting what you need. Talking about sex helps you avoid mistaking assumptions for truth.

2. Talking opens you up to another kind of intimacy.

Romantic intimacy is all about vulnerability. Part of the reason sex can so powerfully connect you to your partner is that it requires opening up, and accepting your partner’s vulnerability too. You might be more comfortable seducing your partner than talking about how, when, and why you do it, as touch can sometimes feel safer than words. But by sharing your vulnerable feelings, intimacy becomes even deeper.

So talk about it—how do you feel when your partner touches you? What would you like to do more of? Talking reinforces that your shared sex life is a relationship, not just an occasional meeting.

3. Your partner can still surprise you.

It might seem like after all these years, you know how to push your partner’s buttons, when to push them, and for how long. You might have a bedroom routine or even that is gone now. Sometimes you try to spice things up to keep the spark alive, but the spice you add often becomes awkward too. Or, maybe you feel like you’ve learned everything there is to know about the person who shares your bed.

In truth, your partner’s needs and preferences can change over time. They might want something in bed they never considered until now. The only way to take the temperature of your partner’s desires is to ask.

4. When you talk about sex, both of your needs are on the table.

If you’re unhappy with how things have been playing out in the bedroom, you can start to feel disconnected—like maybe your partner doesn’t understand you. If you’re tight-lipped about the tension, all the things you’re feeling build up. “This isn’t fair,” you might think, after your partner denies your advances a few times in a row.

When you talk about sex, both of your needs are out in the open. You might learn that your partner simply needs a different kind of foreplay to feel interested. You might surprise your partner with what turns you on too.

5. Talking is proactive.

If your sex life is feeling a little tense, talking about it can add fuel to frustrated fires. If you talk about sex when things are good, you set the stage for working together when things get tough. Talking about how you’re feeling prevents miscommunication from coming between you and your partner. So get out there and get busy!

Filed Under: couples counseling, Oakland, purpose, romance, sex, sexual intimacy Tagged With: , , , ,

Lasting Marriages: When the Courtship Never Ends

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In an ideal world, wEspresso Shot (2)hen you’re planning on getting married, “what if we end up divorcing?” isn’t a question that crosses your mind. But we live in the real world, a world where the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that 6.8 people out of 1,000 get married and 3.6 out of 1,000 get divorced. That’s just over half of all married people! I also think its ok to have the question cross your mind, because that means you are serious about the commitment.

So how can you make sure your marriage is a lasting one? Friends and family will probably give you lots of advice, solicited or otherwise. Let’s check in with some couples who have been married 50 years, and hear what worked for them. Although things have changed dramatically since 1963, its always a good thing to check in and see what you can learn from people who came before you.

Three tips from three Oakland, CA couples married in 1963:

1. Never go to bed mad.

Stewing over your anger for too long can lead to bitterness, or compounding the issue at hand with other things, making it into a bigger deal than it was. Better to address differences sooner, rather than later. Plus, you’ll get a better night’s sleep!

2. Find a way to laugh together every day.

Laughing together brings you closer. Scientific research has shown that laughter produces endorphins, those chemicals in your body that make you “feel good.” A 1990 study in the International Journal of Aging & Human Development found that couples who had been married for several decades listed “a sense of humor” among their top three reasons for their relationship’s success.

3. Be able to say “yes, Dear.”

Some things are more important than always having the last word, or always expressing your opinions. Simply saying “yes, dear” rather than “yes, dear, but…” is harder than it sounds. Communication is important, but so is knowing when to just let the other person have their say.

 

If you’re already doing these things, what else should you keep in mind to make your marriage strong? Here are some other ideas.

One plus one does not equal one.

There’s no such thing as a soulmate, that is, someone who is a perfect match. It’s better to think about being complementary, rather than about being “one and the same.” There will certainly be differences between you and your loved one, from minor lifestyle choices like food preferences, to bigger ones like how to raise children. The great thing about being in a relationship is being able to see the world in a different way, through someone else’s eyes. Instead of trying to fit someone into a template, cherish the different perspectives he or she has to offer.

No one’s perfect.

Expecting smooth sailing almost ensures you’ll have trouble when you hit some bumpy water. On the scale of easy to difficult, relationships surely measure up more toward the latter than the former. No one is perfect, not even the love of your life, the apple of your eye. Exercising forgiveness over small things is a good habit to get into. It helps develop creative problem-solving skills that might come in handy for whatever happens down the road.

Communication is key.

Everyone’s heard this one before, but it’s so important that it bears repeating. Be sure to listen to your partner, even when you disagree with his or her point of view. It shows respect.

Marriage should not be the death of courtship.

Here’s one last tip. Don’t stop “dating” when you get married. This is another one you’ve probably heard before, but it’s so easy to get stuck in the mindset of everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, work, and caring for children, that sometimes we all need to take a step back and examine our relationship from a distance. When you first start seeing someone, you are each trying to “win over” the other. Your spouse or spouse-to-be probably fell in love with you because you have compatible goals and dreams and you also made him or her feel special. So keep being that person! Make time to un-bog yourself from the daily demands of life and spend regular quality time together. Cast off your worries for an evening, and just have fun!

Filed Under: arguing, communication, couples, couples counseling, divorce, health, healthy relationship, purpose, romance Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

“Stay weird, stay different!”

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graham-moore

Oh yes! “Stay weird, stay different” people! What would the world  look like if we were all the same? Pretty boring if you ask me. Graham Moore is in Hollywood, but us Oakland Bay Area folks have a chance too! He got it right when he supported staying unique.  Your life is only yours- there is only ONE of you!!  When you are feeling invisible, think, “How can I thrive?” “What do I desire?” “How can I go after it?” “How am I limiting myself?”

How can you get to that spot where you live your best fullest life where you feel that feeling of energy beneath your skin, and your heart races just a bit thinking of living that life?  We all deserve to wake up and feel a sense of readiness and lust for our day because we are about to go and do something we are meant to.  What are you meant to be doing? That energy, that desire isn’t there to torture you, don’t shut it out, use it to motivate you to go after your best authentic life.

Hone in on your unique self and what you have to offer.  Life honestly seems to hold a bit of magic dust when we are in alignment with what we are here for, who we are meant to be.  We can open those channels and sail through, so listen, and react. Be still, and know what you are here for. Get determined and motivated, serve your purpose and go and show up for all of us and your unique weird different self!  Reach out for help here www.healinghappenstherapy.com for assistance in manifesting your true purpose.

Filed Under: purpose, ready fro change, self care, self love Tagged With: , , , , ,