Healing Happens Therapy

you can heal, we can help.

Relationship & Intimacy Expert, reconnecting couples through counseling so you can rebuild and get on with the best parts of being in a relationship!

Certified Nutritional Advisor and Professional Life Coach, helping motivated people take back their health, reach their goals and integrate a sense of balance in their lives.

Need a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach? What They Do and How They Can Help You

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You can’t be an expert on everything. Life can get overwhelming and we can get stuck in places we desperately want to get out of. Therefore, it’s only logical to sometimes ask for help.

Generally, each of us has our realms of expertise. Some of us choose to share that knowledge. Two good examples: life coaches and health & wellness coaches. It doesn’t get any more fundamental than what they teach: seeking balance by choosing balance.

What Does a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach Do?
A holistic way to answer this question is to point out that such coaches make the big connections. For example, let’s say you and your partner are in the midst of a rough patch. Taking some time to yourself or choosing to attend couple counseling together is great. But what about when those outside factors kick in again?

Life can toss an infinite variety of challenges at us. The best way to greet these challenges is with a sense of balance. This comes from a balanced approach to managing your life. You address concerns both inside and out. You learn to recognize how it all connects.

Life coaches and health & wellness coaches vary in their approaches and their backgrounds. What they share in common is a passion to guide. Coaches gather information and offer guidance in those parts of your life that feel stuck or unfulfilling.

How Can a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach Help You?
1. Create a game plan
There’s an old saying about knowing the rules well before you break them. The same can be said for having a solid plan in place. Before you try spontaneity, you need to understand the basics. Working with a coach empowers you and provides a structure of core strategies and new ways to evolve whether it’s with body mind or soul.

  1. Learn fun ways to get active
    Our tech-based culture encourages a sedentary lifestyle. Coaching inspires us to learn fresh ways to sweat and smile. How about yoga, dance, and more at Oakland’s Flying Studios?
  2. Become the architect of your eating habits (and supplementation)
    What you consume will dictate how much energy you have to live a full life. Hydration, healthy meals, smart supplementation—it all adds up to fuel us well. Consult an expert to guide you through this ever-evolving process.
  3. Have someone to contact beyond weekly sessions
    It’s often tough to get appointments with doctors. Therapists and personal trainers are all yours—one hour at a time. A life/health & wellness coach is more a presence in your daily life. Besides face-to-face sessions, you may do phone calls or video chats. In addition, there’s 24/7 access to email or chat messages. To start, this kind of contact is crucial. Over time, you’ll develop new problem-solving skills and begin trusting yourself as much as you trust your coach!
  4. Develop a self-care regimen
    Even with steady contact with your coach, the onus is on you for self-care. The basics include the aforementioned healthy eating habits and daily activity. Add in regular sleep patterns and reliable stress management and you’re treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated. With self-care in place, you’ll find you are more receptive and enthusiastic about the coaching you receive.
  5. Live in the present moment
    Look into your past and find your regrets. Gaze into the future and your anxiety may kick in. In the present moment, however, all you have is here and now.

Where Do You Find a Life Coach or Health & Wellness Coach?

Look no further. At Healing Happens Therapy & Coaching we offer a wide range of health services—including life coaching and health & wellness coaching. All of our services share a vision. We understand that mind and body are one. Therefore, true health is created by honoring an integrated approach. Call today for a free 10-minute consultation and discover how you can become the captain of your own destiny.

Filed Under: get your sexy back, goals, health, healthy relationship, motivation, nutrition, self care, self help, self love, therapy, weight loss

What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

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What is Telemental Health Care? The Benefits of Online Therapy

What a time to be alive! That line may be the stuff of silly memes, but it has a very serious side, too. Rapid changes in how we communicate have significantly changed the field of mental health for the better. Scheduling difficulties, time restraints, and even geographical distance no longer automatically prevent you from working with the therapist of your choice. Thanks to telemental healthcare, the playing field has shifted.

What is Telemental Healthcare?

Sure, therapists have been doing phone sessions in a pinch for years. Today, however, teletherapy is a featured service and this means using a face-to-face video platform. Your device may be:

  • Desktop computer
  • Laptop
  • Tablet
  • Smartphone

What matters is that you’re comfortable with the technology and are able to arrange for a private time. From there, it’s just like any other session with your therapist—without the commute, rush, or barriers created by a disability. The video platform allows important elements like voice inflections and facial gestures to be factored in.

What You Need to Know About Telemental Healthcare

1. Ask your therapist about their experience

Not all counselors are skilled or comfortable using telemental healthcare. Ask questions about their experience. Perhaps try one session first before committing to this format.

2. Talk to your therapist about the video platform being used

Of course, privacy is paramount. Licenced therapist use HIPPA compliant platforms. To keep your information private, make certain the platform is the most secure choice available.

3. Learn about state laws

State licensure and regulations vary from state to state. This could impact your ability to work with your preferred therapist. Clarify all such details with your counselor before beginning.

4. Is it right for you?

If you can easily get to a physical appointment, are you the kind of person for whom this is optimal? Sometimes, to have a specific go-to venue for counseling is part of the benefit. The goal and purpose of telemental healthcare is not merely a convenience. As with all modalities, it’s about recovery and results.

The Benefits of Online Therapy

1. Making the impossible possible

The most obvious benefit is a drastic reduction in scheduling obstacles. For example, if your job takes you temporarily from Oakland to Los Angeles, or you work a different schedule like a fireman, it no longer means you will go without therapy during that time. Of course, telemental healthcare is especially important for those with a disability that makes traveling a challenge.

2. Countering the stigma

We’ve come a long way, but the stigma of therapy can still exist for some. Even today, individuals can face family or work pressure surrounding their choice to seek therapy. Scheduling a location other than a therapist’s office may provide privacy and peace of mind.

3. It may coincide with your specific needs

You may, for example, be seeking therapy due to depression or severe social anxiety. These circumstances quite possibly could make it daunting for you to commit to a regular appointment outside your home. “Teletherapy,” in such cases, is an ideal entry point for moving towards recovery.

How to Connect with an Online Therapist

Telemental healthcare is a relatively new approach. As touched on above, it has unique requirements. Therefore, those seeking to try this method must choose carefully. Equally so, tele-therapists must wisely discern which patients are best able to adapt to the video platform. To learn more, and perhaps get started in the realm of telemental healthcare, contact Healing Happens Therapy for a free consultation.

Filed Under: balance, calm, communication, couples counseling, depression, divorce, family, goals, health, healthy relationship, infidelity, men's couseling, new years resolutions, parenting, purpose, reframe, self care, self help, self love, stress, therapy, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

How Sugar Can Affect Your Mood

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How Sugar Can Affect Your Mood // healinghappenstherapy.com

Whether we know it or not, the types of food we eat not only affects our bodies but also our mental health, which in turn can alter our mood and how we are feeling at any given moment.

We know that if we continue to eat foods that are processed and high in fat and sugar, it could lead to obesity, diabetes, heart disease and other illnesses. But these foods can also impact our brains, chemically and physiologically.  In my practice as licensed therapist as well as a Certified Nutritional Advisor, I can help educate, and recommend ways to begin feeling better.

There is a link between eating and how we feel. When people eat to feel better, this is called emotional eating, which can lead to eating disorders and overeating.

Foods that can negatively impact your mood (and mental health) are:

  • Processed foods
  • High fat foods
  • Refined Sugar
  • Caffeine
  • Alcohol

In 2014, there was a study done in New Zealand among over 4,200 students that showed eating a diet in high-quality, healthy foods resulted in better mental health and emotional well-being, whereas those students who ate an unhealthy diet did not improve mentally and showed signs of emotional distress. We know that what we eat matters in our mental well-being!

How Food Affects Your Mood

There are several ways food can affect your mood:

Depression

Studies have shown that people who consume copious amounts of sugar are more likely to be depressed or show signs of mood disorders as their blood sugar rises and falls. It can feel like an emotional roller coaster when you eat that donut and feel a spike in energy, but then a few hours later, feel the sugar crash and come down from those high energy levels.

Sugar also suppresses a critical growth hormone in our brains called BDNF, which accounts for the health, maintenance and reproduction of neurons in the brain. BDNF also helps with our memory function by connecting these neurons and improving our thinking. Low levels of BDNF caused by sugar consumption can trigger depression.

Sugar is also at the helm of chronic inflammation in our bodies when it’s consumed and starts a series of chemical reactions. Normally, a little inflammation is a good thing, like when you need to heal from a small infection. It’ll increase your immune activity and blood flood. However, chronic inflammation, caused by processed sugar, can weaken the immune system and cause damage to the brain.

People who suffer from depression should try cutting out refined sugar from their diet to see if there is any improvement in their mood, mental clarity, and energy levels.

Anxiety

High fatty and sugary foods may not cause anxiety but for those people who suffer from anxiety issues, it could worsen their symptoms and weaken their ability to cope with stress. Sugar creates changes in the body and people who are hypersensitive to these sensations will notice these changes. (A sugar rush and crash can also leave someone feeling shaky, jittery or nervous.)

In doing so, it can trigger anxiety or panic attacks as the person worries or fears what is going on in their body after consuming large amounts of unhealthy fats and sugars. When glucose is released under levels of stress (and the release of insulin to counter glucose), the person may experience blurry vision, feelings of fatigue, or are not able to think clearly.

Addiction

It can be hard to stop from eating a whole box of cookies once you’ve had a few. That’s because when we eat sweet or fatty foods, it releases dopamine (aka the feel good drug) in our bodies and we feel a sense of pleasure and contentment. The way drug addicts are addicted to drugs, we can become addicted to sugar and foods high in fat.

This study concluded that “‘Food addiction’ seems plausible because brain pathways that evolved to respond to natural rewards are also activated by addictive drugs. Sugar is noteworthy as a substance that releases opioids and dopamine and thus might be expected to have addictive potential.”

Learning and Memory

When you consume large amounts of sugar, you will notice a surge in energy because it’s your brain’s preferred source of fuel. When you eat or drink anything sugary, you may notice an increase in mental clarity, memory, and thinking. But it doesn’t last very long and then you will feel the effects of the “sugar crash.” Consuming too much sugar will impair your cognitive functions and damage your memory.

Stress

When we stress, our bodies release certain hormones, specifically cortisol, that trigger our fight-or-flight response. This response prepares us for any danger that may be lurking around the corner. But remember, the brain cannot tell the difference between real danger and imagined danger that we concoct in our minds. So our blood sugar levels spike preparing us to either defend ourselves or flee the situation.

When we feel overwhelmed or are under a lot of stress, our bodies crave energy because we are depleting it so fast as we worry, increasing our glucose levels or blood sugar. That is why some people will grab sugary or fatty snacks when under extreme amounts of stress. They need that pick-me-up to keep their energy levels up, but that will only run their bodies ragged in the end.

15 Best Foods That Will Improve Your Mood

Certain foods can either help you or hurt you. Here are 15 foods that will improve your mood (you can read more about their health benefits here and here):

  • Mussels and oysters
  • Fish and fish oil
  • Swiss chard and other leafy greens
  • Broccoli
  • Asparagus
  • Cherry tomatoes
  • Lentils, chickpeas, and beans
  • Pumpkin seeds
  • Walnuts, almonds, and hazelnuts
  • Pastured eggs
  • Dark chocolate or raw cacao nibs or powder
  • Greek Yogurt
  • Berries
  • Turmeric
  • Honey

Due to the negative side effects that refined sugar (and other unhealthy foods) have on our bodies and mental state, it would be wise for people to start minimizing or cutting out these types of foods from their diets.

Every client at Healing Happens Therapy receives an overall health assessment, and as a Certified Nutritional Advisor and Licensed therapist, I can help recommend what foods and supplements that can support you in feeling better. Visit my office today in Oakland by calling 510 507-1763 or visit me at www.healinghappenstherapy.com.

Filed Under: health, therapy Tagged With: , , , ,

How to Cope with PTSD After the San Bernardino Terrorist Attack

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How to Cope with PTSD After the San Bernardino Terrorist Attack // healinghappenstheraphy.com

On December 2, 2015, married couple, Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik, opened-fired in the Inland Regional Center in San Bernardino, California, killing 14 people and leaving 21 others wounded. This mass shooting has been one of many terrorist attacks in the news lately.

This kind of unthinkable horror can leave the victims, their family and friends and the community in a state of shock, panic and distress, that possibly could lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

It’s normal to feel scared, sad, anxious or paranoid after a traumatic experience, like the mass shooting. It may take some time to calm down from the event and cope with what happened. However, when you’re unable to let the thoughts go, calm your nerves or move on, then you may be experiencing PTSD.

What is PTSD?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder occurs when an individual has gone through a very traumatizing event in their life and doesn’t know how to cope with it and move forward. They feel immobilized because their safety has been threatened. Many times the person lives in a constant state of “fight or flight” mode, feeling very unstable and reactive.

Many people associate PTSD with soldiers and other military personnel during times of war, but PTSD can be triggered by a variety of stressful experiences where a person feels helpless or hopeless. These can include:

  • Death of a loved one
  • Job loss
  • Car or plane crash
  • Rape
  • Kidnapping
  • Assault
  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Terrorist attacks
  • Natural disasters

Symptoms of PTSD

You can tell the difference between a normal response from a person after experiencing a stressful situation, such a job loss, and a person suffering from PTSD, like from the San Bernardino shooting.

It’s normal to have nightmares about the trauma, not stop thinking about it or feel fearful. For most people, these symptoms gradually fade away over time. But for people with PTSD, these symptoms stay and sometimes, intensify. The nervous system gets “stuck” and can’t calm down, hence why these people are always in the “fight or flight” mode.

Other symptoms of PTSD include:

  • Difficulty falling or stay asleep
  • Difficulty focusing or concentrating
  • Irritability or suddenly lashing out
  • Constant anxious thoughts or flashbacks about the event
  • Physical signs of stress when they think about the experience (racing heart, sweating, tense muscles, nausea, rapid breathing or hyperventilation)
  • Loss of interest in normal activities or life
  • Feeling disconnected from loved ones
  • Feeling helpless, hopeless or depressed
  • Feeling jumping and easily startled
  • Feelings of guilt, blame or shame
  • Feelings of betrayal or mistrust
  • Avoids certain places, people or activities surrounding the event
  • Avoids feeling, talking or thinking about the event
  • Suicidal thoughts or feelings

5 Ways to Cope with PTSD

After experiencing a horrific event, like a terrorist attack, you may feel like life will never be the same and you don’t even know how to move forward. But you can overcome your fears and live life again. Recovering from PTSD takes time and effort to get your nervous system back in balance to a pre-trauma state, but it is possible.

Here are five ways to help you cope with your post-traumatic stress disorder:

1. Connect with your body. Exercise has been proven to help not only your physical state but also your mental and emotional well-being. During times when you notice that your fight or flight state has been triggered, like hearing the kickback of a car that reminds you of the sounds of gunshots which sets your mind into a state of panic, get outside for a walk or run. When you get your body moving, you release endorphins that will help to calm you down. By focusing on a physical activity or strenuous exercise routine, you’re allowing your nervous system to slowly become “unstuck.” Try to be very present by noticing the physical sensations you are feeling as you do the exercise, focus directly on what you are doing and allow outside thoughts to pass by, and listen to your breathing.

2. Connect with your loved ones. Many PTSD sufferers feel withdrawn from their family and friends and slowly disengage with them after the shooting or traumatic event, skipping parties or social events, being alone most days, and not staying in contact with people. Support from your loved ones is vital to your recovery. It’s important to push through those negative feelings and talk about the event with those you trust. It’ll help calm down your nervous system and help you regain a sense of safety and comfort again. Allow those that love you to help you and be there for you.

3. Challenge your victim mindset. Once you experience an attack or traumatic event, you may feel like a victim, vulnerable and helpless. But you must remind yourself that you have the ability to overcome your fearful mind and use your coping skills. You are stronger than you think. To help strengthen and reclaim your sense of power, think of activities you can do, like volunteering, donating to your favorite charity, giving blood or just helping a struggling neighbor, friend or family member. You may also consider joining a support group in Oakland, where you can connect with others suffering from PTSD.

4. Take care of yourself. No matter how paralyzing the shooting or event has been for you, you must keep yourself healthy. Try to keep your normal routine for a sense of comfort and familiarity. Eat healthy, nutritious foods, exercise daily, get plenty of rest and sleep, do things you enjoy doing or pick up new hobbies, and avoid drugs and alcohol. To help calm the mind and racing thoughts that replays the shooting over and over again, look into meditation, deep breathing exercises or yoga. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask for help around the house or at the office. When people offer you their assistance, take advantage of it. The less you have to worry, the more you can focus on your own healing and recovery.

5. Seek professional help. Sometimes you can only go so far on your own before you need to ask for help. Seeking out a professional therapist does not mean you’re weak or incompetent in dealing with your emotions. Sometimes you need the expertise of a professional trained in the area of PTSD to assist you in facing your fears surrounding the shooting or event that you experienced. Healing Happens Therapy can help you work through your thoughts and feelings, teach you coping mechanisms and address the problems PTSD is causing in your life and relationships.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims and anyone effected by this tragic event. Hoping this blog will support those in need.

Filed Under: self care, self help, stress, therapy Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

What is an emotional affair?

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What is an emotional affair?

Emotional AffairAn emotional affair is a breach of trust, a break in a verbal or written (marriage) agreement.  This can be over whether you are monogamous or when your spouse lies to you or keep things from you. Having someone trust and confide in another person over you and share intimate moments that were supposed to fall under your role can feel like an emotional affair.

Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are different. However, they can be closely related.  Although not all relationships are monogamous especially here in our great Bay Area Oakland city, we all have attachments and in an emotional affair that is what is being threatened. The idea in most marriages or committed couples is that each other are the priority. They are supposed to be your “go to” person for times of happy, sad, need, and love.  There is nothing wrong with someone having friends and respected relationships with others.  We all need a healthy support system.  However, when the majority of the reliance is not with your spouse things begin to shift.

If your spouse is seeking out any of these from another person and it begins to feel out of balance, this could be a red flag. If you sense something is off please call to save your committed relationship. 510-507-1763 Kelly Montgomery, LMFT, www.healinghappenstherapy.com

Filed Under: Affair, cheating, emotional affair, infidelity, Oakland, therapy Tagged With: , , ,

How to avoid filing for divorce- three times!?

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This looks rough:  http://www.eonline.com/news/618545/james-caan-files-for-divorce-from-his-wife-for-the-third-time-in-10-years.  What is going on in your relationship when you are not sure about the commitment you have made?  What happened to your your desire for one another?  What made you fall in love with them in the first place? What can you take responsibility for? Start by feeling sure about your self and your connection to your partner.   Test these things out and see what turns up:

1. Touch your partner. When they walk by graze their arm, when they come home give them a long kiss. When you sit and relax, cuddle.  Have you ever tried to argue while holding hands? Believe me its a MUCH different conversation that it would be without touching.

2. Tell them WHAT you love about them, not just “I love you.”  Get sure about it, remind yourself why you chose to be committed to them, what makes you laugh about them or what makes the different from others?  Be specific, and watch to see if things re kindle.

3. When things get too tough to handle, let someone else lead. Come and see me!  www.healinghappenstherapy.com  Get into couples counseling and invest in getting on with the rest of your life.  Find the tools you need to move on and live to the fullest.

Filed Under: communication, couples counsleing, divorce, sex, therapy, touching Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Sex talk?

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“My husband never touches me anymore” or  “my wife will never have sex with me”  or “I’m always the one having to initiate sex,” sound familiar?  What is it really like in your bedroom?  Sex is everywhere in the media but how does it translate into your own home?

Most people feel out of balance in this jam packed busy world of ours and loose the opportunity to connect.  We forget how to, or get stuck in some depleting routine that doesn’t serve us or our partners.  Sex is, among other things, merely another way to communicate.  If you are having trouble communicating, you bet your sex life isn’t that great either.  These two are inexorably connected in a relationship.

If your sex life could talk, what would it say?

  • Both partners get a piece of paper
  • Each write down how they think the other initiates sex non verbally
  • Match up and see if your cues are being see and heard the right way
  • Go try out some non verbal communication!

Then, come and see me here in Oakland at www.healinghappenstherapy.com!

Filed Under: communication, couples, couples counseling, romance, sex, sexual intimacy, therapy Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Fall Special for couples, 10% discount in Oakland, CA

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“Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.”
― Samuel Butler

This month’s quote is a great reminder to us all as we head into a hectic, busy and often stressful holiday season.  This is the perfect time to gain some footing and  prep your self and your relationships for a season of change.  Family dynamics come into play, and financial stressors can ensue with the gift giving practice.  The actual seasons of change affect us whether we believe it or not too.  Oakland and general East bay area weather can be nice most of the time however, here are a few ways to help yourself:

1. Allow  daylight to enter the house.

2. Spend at least half an hour daily outdoors, get some air!

3. Move. Get some exercise even if its taking a walk or dancing in the living room!

4. Eat right.  Hunger and craving for sweets and starches is common in SAD. People eat to beat the blues and many of them become “carbohydrate addicts. ” Alarmed by the weight gain, they start dieting which makes them a “yo-yo weight changer. ” To avoid that, eat balanced meals which are high on complex carbohydrates and protein, and low on fat. Consult a good meals chart and plan a seven-day program which is heavily biased in favor of vegetables, fruits, and grains.

5. Laugh! Watch a movie or a comedy act.

AND THE BEST FOR LAST…

Taking time for ourselves in therapy and being proactive before any angst arrives, is so wise!

Come and see me in Oakland, CA first visit www.healinghappenstherapy.com and call at 510-507-1763

Filed Under: couples, depression, holidays, self help, therapy, weather Tagged With: , , , , ,