Think of sex like another language. If you were communicating with your partner what would you be saying? Have you not “talked” in a while? I include work with sex therapy, I don’t help people with sex addiction, but I do help couples rediscover or newly discover an intimate, passionate sex life. You can be intimate without sex. You can have sex without it being deeply romantic. What does your sex life say? Are you playful, passionate, or romantic or something else? When was the last time you initiated sex? How do you express yourself? And do you want anything to change?
Learning how to be intimate, affectionate, and vulnerable with your partner isn’t as easy as it seems. For that matter learning what your partner needs (perhaps is not affection but to be taken in the heat of passion) and how to please them is specific to each person. There are so many factors involved.
There are a lot of varying blocks to sexual intimacy from hormone levels to past trauma. You could have just some trouble with embarrassment and speaking your needs or it could be about other factors like different sex drives, self-esteem or stress. Unraveling it can feel overwhelming, so don’t jump to conclusions about how much you are loved if things are not going right, instead jump into therapy. You will find I am practical, warm and funny and give homework too (the best part!) Have the courage to fix it and move on with your relationship and a great sex life!