Sometimes we walk around our beautiful city, Oakland. We stroll by Lake Merritt and have to cross busy Harrison street to get there. I always feel just a little bit safer, warmer when my man holds my hand crossing the street. Take this and apply it to when are not feeling so lovey dovey. Even the smallest touch can help. The chemicals in our bodies react even if we don’t know it. Try talking and touching simultaneously. A hand on the small of the back, or facing each other with arms around each others waist. Even if you are sitting on the couch, remember to touch. Play with her hair, or place your hand on his knee. Even if nothing sexual arrives, this is connection and can lead to a loving gaze, a kiss, or a great conversation. Go ahead and try it! It’s pretty difficult to have an argument while holding hands!
Self care is about attempting to find a balance with you and your life, rhythm or schedule. We must fit it in to have that balance we crave and to live a full life. So how do you carve out time for you? What helps alleviate you and brings you back to center? Here are a few first steps to figure out how.
1. Edit you brain. (Listen to your self talk. Is it mean? Is it unforgiving? Reframe that self talk to aid you and support you. Write down your reframe and post it on your car dash board or your mirror at home. Be specific. Ex: I’m a bad housekeeper I never keep things clean! Reframe: I prioritize loving my family and working hard at other things besides cleaning.
2. Slow down. Stop multitasking. Take a moment in silence. Whether its a bath or a 10 minute mediation, take actual time for yourself to do NOTHING. Just listen to your breath going in and out. Turn your phone on silent. Do not check your phone. You will survive!
3. Eat at least one super good for you meal a day. Feel good about what you put in your body. Give yourself credit for that healthy meal.
4. Call a friend. Connect with a trusted source. Talk about how you feel. Listen to them. Share. Connect. Be grateful you have a support system.
5. Hug someone! If you can, get some physical touch. Allow yourself to hug and be hugged. Receive the love and support you deserve.